About First Love

My daddy used to tell me that the first time you fall in love it changes your life forever. And no matter how hard you try, the feeling never goes away.-The Notebook

Do you ever just sit there and wonder why he chose you? Do you ever stop and think that it was just to good to be true? Does it ever seem like your afraid to lose him, because without him your whole life will be ruined.

Failing is the first step to success, crying is the first step to happiness. And heart break is the first step to true love.

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day I hope something reminds you of me, and you wish you had stayed. We can plan for change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you to stop loving me.

I'm not even upset, hurt or angry anynmore.
I'm just tired.
I'm tired of putting in more effort than I recieve. 
I'm tired of holding on for nothing. 
I'm tired of believing all your lies. 
I'm tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed again.

I think one of the worst feelings in the world, right behind heart break, is that disgustingly empty feeling you get, right after you spill your heart out and lay all your cards on the table.

Right after you get the courage to say everything you have been feeling and be completely and recklessly honest. it's that feeling you get right after you risk everything, and he just walks away.


Because then you realize that you just lost. you lost everything you didn't even know you had when you said "what do i have to lose?''

One day when it's way too late you're going to say, "I love you." Then when I don't reply you're going to muster up everything you have and ask, 


"Do you love me?" 


and you know what i'm going to say, 
"I used to love you, I wish I still did, but you were with all those other girls, and you were way too blind to see what was right in front of you the whole time. I've dropped you hints, and I've tried to make it clear, but you never caught on. So right now I'm going to have to say, we're just friends, like you did to me all those times."

I can't say "screw him" about the boy that I came the closest to loving. 

I would still do anything for him even though I know he wouldn't do the same for me; 

it hurts more than anything, but I can't stop care for him. 

Believe me, I've tried.

I might not have you in my life, and I might never have you in it again. I might not be the first thought that comes up to your mind when you wake up, or the last one that leaves your head once you go to sleep, but I will always remember you  and you will always and forever be that one stage in my life where my first true love ever existed. 

I often wonder why God made me fall in love with you, was it to punish me for something that I did wrong? Cause it couldn't be that he thought you seriously did love me?

You want me to prove that I really love you, but the only proof I can give you is I held on to you even though you didn't care, I've waited even though you weren't coming, I loved you for so long even though you didn't notice.

He said, "I didn't mean to break your heart,"

but before he could finish, I replied with,
"I didn't mean to fall in love either, but we all make mistakes."

Everyone has that relationship that they never quite get over. No matter what happens in between, when you're together it's like nothing has changed. Deep down, you both know you're supposed to be together, but you just can't seem to make it work.

Stop saying you’re sorry. You wanna know something? I knew. I knew you didn’t feel that way about me. I knew and I still let it happen...because, well, I figured that one night with you was better than never. So, will you stop saying you’re sorry? Because you didn’t know better, but I did. - Grey’s Anatomy